On Being a Father of a Gifted High-Achieving Millennial Boy
An analysis of the article “Paternal Influence on Gifted High-Achieving Millennial Males” By Thomas P. Hébert (published in Journal for the Education of the Gifted)
by Dr. Selcuk Acar PhD
Parenting gifted youth is attracting increasing attention from researchers, and some of these studies provide valuable insights and strategies for effective parenting practices. In one such recent study, Dr. Tom Hébert from the University of South Carolina focused on how fathers influence gifted, high-achieving Millennial males. He emphasized the role of fathers, noting that inadequate affection can lead to feelings of rejection and despair, and discussed the connection between paternal absence and lower self-esteem, depression, violence, and criminal behavior in males. Furthermore, he pointed to research showing the detrimental effects of failing to recognize boys’ emotional needs. Dr. Hébert extended his previous work on gifted males and explored the perceptions of gifted, high-achieving Millennial males regarding their father-son relationships.
His qualitative study, using a phenomenological interview research design, placed fathers at the core of the interview questions. It involved 10 gifted, high-achieving Millennial males. Dr. Hébert’s analysis of these interviews revealed interesting insights into how these gifted males viewed their fathers and how they were influenced by them. Six key points capture the essence of the interviews:
- Father’s Work Ethic: From the perspective of high-achieving gifted students, fathers were perceived as “industrious men with strong work ethics.” This likely explains how and why these gifted students were “high-achieving.” The gifted students shared stories about their fathers, such as one who started his day at 4 a.m. to drive three hours to a job he found unpleasant, without ever complaining, or another father who broke down in front of his sons, feeling embarrassed by his transition from a $90,000 salary job to a $28,000 job in order to support his family.
- Fathers as Teachers: Fathers also influenced their sons by teaching specific skills (such as car repair or cooking), imparting important life lessons on managing relationships through serious conversations, and modeling morality through actions. Additionally, fathers were often good listeners who helped facilitate their sons’ decision-making processes.
- Father’s Rituals with Their Sons: Fathers were intentional in developing rituals to nurture a strong relationship with their sons. These could be simple activities like watching a Sunday football game, cooking together, or establishing bedtime routines. Such experiences, initiated by the fathers, often created lasting memories that helped maintain strong bonds over the years.
- Father’s Presence and Silent Support: Gifted boys recalled how supportive their fathers were in their athletic activities, even if the fathers weren’t passionate about the sports themselves. They were also actively involved in supporting organizations such as science fairs, dedicating their time despite busy schedules. This consistent presence at sports events, games, and competitions communicated to the sons that they mattered to their fathers.
- Father’s Genuine Behaviors and Strong Sense of Self: Genuine and authentic behaviors demonstrated by fathers had a significant impact on their sons. Fathers’ empathetic yet resilient stances on life’s challenges, as well as their humility in the face of others’ excessive self-promotion, fostered feelings of admiration in their gifted sons.
- Father’s Respect for Son: Fathers respected their sons’ talents and showed trust and confidence in their decision-making processes. The various ways fathers expressed pride in their sons and shared this pride with others may not only be memorable but also inspiring and motivating for the sons.
Dr. Hébert noted that “fathers serve their sons as the most significant source of information regarding what it means to be successful males.” Reflecting on his findings, I would also add that fathers’ successful parenting practices can help gifted boys become better human beings.
Reference:
Hébert, T. P. (2024). Paternal Influence on Gifted High-Achieving Millennial Males. Journal for the Education of the Gifted, 47(3), 211–236. https://doi.org/10.1177/01623532241258506
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